I’m always on the hunt for green living tips to share with you, and I try to keep the recommendations realistic and simple enough where you might be subjected to a short period of uncomfortable change, but nothing that will make you itch. In my research for said tips, I’ve recently come across some of the most ridiculous green suggestions I’ve ever heard. So much so that I had to check the source to make sure it wasn’t a joke. The tips were legit, but hilarity ensued just the same and they’re simply too funny not to share with you. Oh, and as eco-conscious as I try to be, you can bet your composter that I won’t be doing any of the following:
Wear Less Makeup: The article claims that we’ll “save time and money” (ok, you got me there) and that we’ll “look better”. Um, ok.
Re-Gifting: This green recommendation suggested, “Instead of purchasing a new gift for someone’s birthday or special occasion, try finding a new or slightly used item in your home that they might enjoy”. Never in a million years. Unless I just happened to have a brand new rice cooker that my friend happened to be coveting. Otherwise, forget it.
Washable Maxi-Pads: This concept is similar to the cloth diaper. And that’s all I’m gonna say. No way.
No’poo: DIY shampoo made from water, baking soda and apple cider vinegar. For real? Again, no way.
Multi-Purpose Shoe Polish: Po-Zu is made from organic cold-pressed coconut oil without any toxins, which means it will make shoes nice and spiffy but can also be used as lip balm, skin moisturizer, hair conditioner, massage oil and even as an alternative cooking oil. Now that’s taking product multi-tasking to a new level.
Drip-Dry Washed Hands…On A Plant: To conserve water, this article suggested that you let your freshly washed hands drip-dry over your favorite house plant so that the excess moisture will serve to water the plants. Unless your plant is a cactus or you have really large hands, not sure this one’s going to work.
Infrequent Toilet Flushing: “If it’s yellow, let it mellow” is probably the oldest green tip in the book, but I’m just not going there. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a clean bowl.
Use A Handkerchief: Ok, my affinity for cloth napkins has been well documented, but no way am I giving up my Kleenex. As a kid, I can remember mandating that my laundry would NOT be washed in the same load as my father’s used handkerchiefs. Ick.
Coconut Oil For Deodorant: Would you rather smell like chemical antiperspirant…or like cake? This, actually, is a tough call—but wouldn’t an oil-based deodorant stain your clothes in the very spot you are trying to avoid an apparent overrun of moisture?
Green Cocktails? When I was Googling “extreme green” tips for this article, up came “Extreme Green Apple Vodka”. Hey, I could really get on board with this! Unfortunately, I just read it wrong. It’s simply green apple flavored vodka (Extreme is the brand name). But now I have appletini’s on the brain…where did I put that shaker…
Have fun getting green!